6 things to do when a close friend has a newborn
I thought I would write a post about the kindest and most helpful things my friends and family did for us when we had Bella. Whether you're a mum or not it might give you some ideas for the next time someone close to you has a baby (just to add I feel like I missed a few of these in the past!).
1. Bring them food
The day I came home from hospital my mum turned up with a food shop and my sister cooked dinner for everyone. Newborns are 24/7 so cooking and eating is a real task at the start. If you're visiting someone this can be a really nice touch. Whether it's preparing them a lasagne they can stick in the freezer or ordering them a batch of food from somewhere like Cook, this is an amazing thing to do for them. We are so lucky as a lot of the time even now, my sister and brother cook for us when they visit.
2. Be on time and be flexible
When arranging to meet up be totally open and flexible (within reason) to plans, allow them to drive timings and location. If you've arranged a time to visit at home then stick to it. The chances are your friend will have planned this specifically around feeding, napping, showering, etc. In fact, this applies to visiting anyone with a child, routine is key. If you're going over for lunch at 1pm but turn up at 2pm, don't be surprised to see a very hangry toddler who eats like clockwork waiting for said lunch.
3. Don't let them do anything if you visit
I know people who had close friends visit when their babies were 3 days old and they just walked in and plonked themselves down on the sofa. If it's a close friend you're visiting tell them to sit down with their baby and you make the tea.
4. Do a chore
If it's your BFF insist on unloading the dishwasher, do the washing up or hang out the laundry. Even offer to sit with the baby for an hour while they shower, have a nap, catch up on admin or even blowdry their hair.
5. If you're already a parent don't (UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES) be a judgy mum
I have zilch time for judgy mums, they're probably the first thing on my room 101 list. Of course offer advice if asked but don't pass judgement*. Whether it's feeding, sleep, type of sling / buggy or use of a dummy, chances are your friend knows their baby best. It's all down to personal choice and new mums have enough pressure without feeling like those around them don't agree with the decisions they're making.
*If you are asked for advice share everything you can, I don't know what I would have done without the wise words and listening ears of my experienced mum friends.
6. Don't forget about them!
When there is a new baby in town the visitors come in thick and fast. But once those first couple of months pass don't forget to drop in. My besties are amazing, we like to get together once a week and they come over to mine for dinner more often than not as they understand it's harder for me to go out to theirs. I feel really lucky in that respect, although it does mean I miss out on their yummy cooking!
Let me know if you have any more ideas to add to the above.