Happy 1st Birthday, Bella
All I've written is the title and I'm already in tears.
A year ago this week our bundle of joy burst into our lives in rather a dramatic fashion and it is a moment I will obviously never forget. I still remember the first time I saw her, in a world of screens and smart phones I was really determined to take a mental image of her in my mind that I could always remember. I try and think about it as much as possible so that I don't forget. She was held over me with her long skinny arms spread out something like Christ the Redeemer and her piercing eyes were looking straight at me. Bliss. Some people have said to me that the 'golden hour' is a total myth but even though the delivery was a tad traumatic I feel like I am lucky enough to look back on the immediate time afterwards as exactly that: Golden.
I loved being pregnant and knew I would be besotted with the little boy or girl that came out. But in the last weeks of being pregnant I was scared. Scared of being a mum and doing a good job. Scared of loving someone that much and the constant worry around keeping them safe. I thought I would struggle emotionally and was extremely daunted. Don't get me wrong I was excited but nerves were taking over.
Luckily as the saying goes a pessimist is never disappointed. Phil and I were in heaven and although there have been tough times on the whole it's been amazing. I was fortunate to take to breast feeding very easily so I feel lucky that the feeding at the start was natural and stress free. Of course we were knackered and sleep deprived but we expected that.
When it comes to parenting I am very much a 'cross that bridge when I come to it' kind of lady. I try and cherish each stage rather than looking forward to the next one. Because before I know it Bella will be in her teens giving me a whole tonne of attitude, although sometimes I feel like that's already started.
She is already such a funny little girl, extremely inquisitive (nosey) and determined. The love and joy that she has bought to our family is palpable and she is lucky to have so many people around her who adore her.
So as Bella turns one I feel proud, mainly that Phil and I have been the ultimate team and worked so hard at parenting. Although Phil works full time when he is around we are co-parents and I feel so lucky to have that help. It's never a competition, who is more tired? Who did the last nappy? Who unloaded the dishwasher yesterday?
We are also fortunate to have a great support network of family and friends who help out when they can. I also have an amazing network of mum friends, some old but many new that I could not have got through the last year without! Shout out to the St Albans mum crew!
Here's to the next year and all the chaos that will comes with it X