As you may have seen via my Instagram we are feeling extremely excited and lucky to be expecting a baby this summer. Thank you so much for all of the lovely kind messages you have sent and left on my photos.
It all feels a bit surreal if I’m honest, I can’t quite believe it. For me, most of the big life changing events only happen once…getting married, buying your first home, graduating, etc. But there is nothing quite as life changing as having a baby, so it seems crazy to me that we are doing this again.
Big Sister Bella
We cannot wait to see Bella become a big sister, she is already constantly asking if she can give the baby in my tummy a hug which is adorable. She is so into playing with dolls and looking after them, she always ‘helps out’ in the baby room at nursery too. Let’s hope she has the same enthusiasm for her baby sibling. We have always said if it was possible, it’s really important to us that Bella has a sibling as we both can’t imagine life without ours.
I don’t think our lives will change in the same way as when we had Bella, nothing prepares you for the introduction of your first child. However we are not naive enough to think a second baby isn’t going to be a big shock, we are really settled in our life and routine now as a family of three. Bella is full on but becoming more and more self sufficient. She’s slept through the night for over two years now (touching wood, I am NEVER complacent about this), goes to the toilet alone, mostly feeds herself and sometimes gets dressed herself. So a newborn is going to be a big adjustment! Having said that I absolutely loved the newborn stage with Bella, it really was magical. Some may disagree but other than sleep deprivation newborns are a walk in the park vs a toddler. I can’t wait to sit in the evening with a tiny little dot snuggled on my chest. I am excited for breastfeeding and really hope I am as lucky as I was with Bella and it comes as naturally with this little bundle.
We didn’t necessary plan it this way but I am really happy with the age gap they will have, one reason being Bella will be starting a preschool in September meaning I will have some time every day one-on-one with the new baby (I can’t wait to start baby yoga / massage again aka my fave baby class ever!). Also there is three years between me and my sister, and then three years between my sister and my brother so maybe I am a bit biased with the three year age gap!
In terms of the gender of the baby, we will be keeping it a surprise like we did with Bella. It’s of course personal preference and I can see why people find out but we’re happy to wait. People keep saying to me, ‘You must be desperate for a boy?’. Not at all! Girls are what I know and how can I not envisage a little mini Bella on the way? But equally a boy would be an incredible addition to our family. Some have said to me it’s ‘really important’ for Bella to know what is coming, maybe that’s true….I don’t know how older siblings survived all those years prior to being able to find out the gender?! It goes without saying that as long as it’s healthy we don’t mind what we have. If the baby could take after their big sister and be a good sleeper that would be amazing.
So far this pregnancy has been harder than Bella, I felt pretty ropey with her, like I was hungover a lot of the time but I didn’t really get sick that much in that pregnancy. This time around I have been retching into the toilet pretty much every day, been sick a lot more and had lots of pretty debilitating migraines. I also went through a good few weeks where I was at my worst in the evenings meaning that I wasn’t eating dinner and just trying to scoff in the middle of the day when I did’t feel as bad. The worst part has been having to cancel plans, I absolutely hate letting people down and I’ve had to cancel so many social plans the last few months. I’ve also felt bad for Bella as some days I have just had to lie on the sofa with the TV on for a few hours. There is nothing I can do about it but I still feel bad all the same. Bella has started a few sessions in nursery which has really helped too. I am hoping as I am over halfway now things will start to ease up in the next couple of weeks. I just remind myself every day how lucky I am to be expecting a baby and it’s worth it a million times over.
I am already showing a lot more prominently than with Bella, I think my body just knows it’s ‘go time’ and is going for it. I started feeling the baby move at 16 weeks which was a lot earlier than with Bella. I am still trying to go to the gym and stay fit, although I have struggled to keep up while feeling so pants. This has been tough for me both mentally and physically, that bum I worked so hard on last year disappeared very quickly. Hopefully I’ll be back in the gym 2/3 times a week soon. My PT has obviously amended my workouts now that I am pregnant.
I am trying to put any thoughts of the birth off as we have a long way to go and quite frankly I am petrified. I used to naively think it must be less daunting the second time around as you have been through it before - PAH! I am way more scared but just trying to be confident that the delivery will be easier than last time. The midwives have been lovely and have said they will take time to go through what happened last time if I like - although I am not sure that is a good idea.
A little note for those thinking about starting to try to conceive, I know this is a really sensitive subject and I am not trying to say I know the answers as I am aware we have fallen pregnant relatively easy both times and feel extremely blessed in that sense. This is just my story explaining how we approached it and I fully understand that it often gets to a point where you don’t / can’t just ‘see how it goes’ and becoming more involved in your ovulation etc is necessary.
I remember a doctor telling me when I came off my pill to get pregnant with Bella that she and a lot professionals believed / now advise that the best way to conceive is to try every 2-3 days throughout your cycle. That is what we did both times and going by my dates now we actually conceived this time around when I was waiting for my period to come on - two weeks after I thought I was ovulating. Hello erratic cycles! I have never used ovulation sticks etc as I didn’t want the additional pressure, we just tried to approach it in the most relaxed way we could (I have to say this is a lot down to my husband who is the calmer half of our marriage). Like I said please don’t think I am trying to make out it’s as easy as that to get pregnant, I have only experienced a few months go by where getting my period was a disappointment so I can’t imagine how it is for some. I am just sharing my story and explaining that if had of been solely focused on when I ‘should’ have been ovulating in my cycle I wouldn’t have fallen pregnant when I did.
How we found out and told our loved ones
I did a pregnancy test when I was due on my period which said I wasn’t pregnant, I then did one when I believed my period was a week late and again it showed that I wasn’t pregnant. We were really disappointed as I thought if I was going to get pregnant that month I would have been about 3 weeks pregnant by that point - turns out I was only a matter of days. Plus we both said we just had this real gut feeling that I was. Another week went by and I went out with my best friend and sister and my sister (a doctor FYI) was like,' ‘Errrr if you’re two weeks late now it probably just hasn’t shown up’. I did a pregnancy test the next morning and the faintest line showed up - barely visible. I showed Phil and he said he thought he could see a reaaaaally faint line too. I obviously took another test immediately which FAILED / didn’t work! Can you imagine? I said to Phil that he needed to go get another one right away but he is so chilled and doesn’t get caught in my hype and just said we’ll get one later when we go out. Well we did and again the faintest line appeared saying I was pregnant. We were so happy. The nicest part was that it was just before Christmas so we wrapped the two pregnancy tests up and Bella gave them to our Mums at the same time on Christmas day - it was so special that we were able to tell everyone together, very emotional.
So for now we are just letting time take it’s course while the bump grows and going through the motions with all our appointments and scans. I actually feel like this pregnancy is going quite slowly vs Bella, perhaps when I am feeling better it will go faster. I’m going to start pregnancy yoga in the next few weeks too which I am really excited about.
Thanks again for all the comments and messages so far, means a lot to us! X